Dear Sleep,

You and I have had quite the rocky relationship. And I'm sure that you hear that a lot from many a teenager, but I feel like our story is unique.

I loved you as a child, but I was definitely a night person even then. I would avoid you like the plague when 9 o'clock rolled around. Even going so far as hiding still in my room where I played when my parents came to check on me. I became a master of evading you. But yet this did not diminish our relationship at all. Contrary to most children I was not at all an early riser. So I enjoyed your comforts long into the morning hours. And still do, but it much more socially acceptable for me to do so at my age.

For a while after we hit the normal rough years of our relationship I was pretty set into my ways of go to bed late, wake up for seminary early, be tired all the time. But I always greeted you with naps during the day. That's how much I missed you, Sleep. It was not for another while until I realized that our relationship was not quite a healthy one. There were days I can remember feeling noticeably stupider because I got too little sleep.

Then, all hell broke loose. I couldn't sleep at all at night. And if I managed to it was only for about twenty minutes at a time. I have learned, and please don't take offense to this, that you are slightly passive aggressive. You have so much control over me, Sleep, and our relationship had taken a turn for the worst. I knew it was serious when I found I had an inability to nap. That was a major anomaly for me. And I just want you to know that you're gesture did not go unnoticed.

Desperate measures followed. Such as Ambien. Which in itself is kind of a hard drug, although I must say that I used it as my prescription advised. But boy was I drugged out on that stuff. I did all kinds of kooky things and acted massively blazed and remembered next to nothing in the morning. Although some fun times did ensue such as trying all every item of clothing in my wardrobe, pretending I was Amy Winehouse, an impromptu creation of a Tumblr and many a hilarious Facebook status update. Ambien will most likely be my only encounter with powerful drugs. Although scary as heck to wake up and fear what you did last night I do remember that in the moment it was good times. Which is why I will never take it again.

So after Ambien I tried to reunite with you. I tried to mend our broken relationship hoping with all my heart that it was not a lost battle. I think that since we have made a lot of improvement although you don't really say much I can sense it. Also, I feel that you like the new sleeping medication I'm taking much better. I'm glad of your approval.

I must address this one factor, though, Sleep. The dreams. They are so vivid it's a bit disturbing. If you could back off a tad on those that would be lovely, but if not, you know, no real complaints hear. I know you're a sensitive guy and I don't want you to take my suggestion the wrong way. So do whatever you feel is right and know that I am doing all that I can to try and mend our relationship for good.

I appreciate you so much, Sleep, and I want you to never forget that. I need you. Now more than ever.

Sincerely,

Kaylyn