Dear Cats,

Your kind is so splendid I do not even know where to begin. 

It's like we are destined to be together, Cats. I have not now, nor have I ever been any sort of a dog person. Except small dogs. Which I figured out a few years ago is because small dogs act and look more like cats than big dogs do. And thus forth I have been a cat person. 

Let's start with how compatible we are. Many people complain that you are too finicky and often utter the old phrase, "Dogs think you are God, but cats think they are God." I personally don't want someone to think of me as God, but that is honestly just me. I'm much too moody to want to deal with a dog in my face when I really just want to stay in bed for three days and not interact with the real world in any way shape or form. BUT with you, Cats, you do whatever the heck you want and don't give a care in the world to what anyone else thinks about it. And I can do the very same! So long as I remember to feed you and clean the litter box. 

You see, we are very similar personality wise, Cats. When someone wants to pet you, if you don't want to be petted you will have none of it and they may even get a butt to the face. But when you want affection you are not afraid to rub all up on someone's face while they sleep, read a newspaper, or type and important document that could possibly be deleted by those nimble paws.

Also, what in the world is funnier than a cat pun? Nothing, I tell mew! Nothing! And the paraphernalia! Darling! And the internet. It is owned by you guys. You are the literal mother memes. You have made Bill Gate's pretty little science fair project into a phenomenon! The internet was basically useless until you intervened!

And sure, I may come across some poorly tempered felines that may hiss, and swat, but does this diminish my love for you, Cats, as a whole! I say, "Certainly not!" With gusto! And flourish!

And what, may I ask, is better than a baby kitty? Nothing. Period. End of sentence. End of book. End of world. Apocalypse. Black hole. 

Sincerely,

Kaylyn